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"LIVE ON PURPOSE WITH PURPOSE....#HIGHER LEVEL LIVING" (©NIA-JAI)

Tuesday 10 July 2012

THE TRANSITION YEARS aka TEENAGE YEARS ON STEROIDS!!!


Ok so how to sum up 5 years of my tumultuous moments in 1 blog….sounds like a title from the series ‘For dummies’ right? Well at this precise moment in time if there was an idiots guide to ‘how to string a sentence together’ I would probably purchase it to be fair!!! I mean, I don’t know whether you may have also experienced this but why is it that whenever you get a bright idea, you know that light bulb ‘ah haaa’ moment, the light seems to fade very soon after. I thought to myself, well I like to think a lot, I have a lot to say and I write songs and poetry pretty much all day long, so why not try my hand at a blog for you guys. The minute I set the ball in motion I was super excited, Ideas flooded my mind day and night about what I would write and I was just fully pumped up, HOWEVER the very instant I sat down at my laptop, ambiance set, a little light adult beverage to hand and OBVIOUSLY as if you didn’t know already candles lit….. My good old friend whom I had not seen for a while paid me an unwelcome visit. He turned up unannounced (as always) bearing no gifts (as always) and took the usual stubborn stance of not wanting to leave no matter how much I politely requested (as always). Sooooo at this point I guess you’re wondering who this unwanted, unnecessary visit was from huh?? Well I won’t keep you in suspense it was Mr ‘Writers Block’ himself!!! Why be gender specific??? Because who else could possibly have the ability to annoy and frustrate me so much just by doing what comes naturally to them (NOT LISTENING)….other than a man of course? In fact I could possibly go one step further and give him a name if I really wanted to, oh yeah *raised eyebrow* lol ……………………………………………………………………………… but come on now, you should know me better than that, I NEVER name and shame and to be honest there are a lot of people that I have crossed paths with that should be extremely grateful  of that fact!! If I didn’t have any integrity there would be certain individuals that (excuse the pun) I would WRITE OFF completely. None the less, just as with all uninvited guests he finally got the hint and left, allowing me to resume the task at hand and attempt to finish, well, more like start this blog……
THE TRANSITION YEARS (20-25) aka MY TEENAGE YEARS ON STEROIDS
They say 13-19 years of age is supposed to be the hardest time in ones life. A period of growth and indecision where one is forced to grapple with the frustration of not knowing who you are or why you're here. The changes of the physical form coupled with the emotional mood swings from the introduction of chemical hormone imabalance is a receipe for disaster. For me though it was actually the opposite. At that point in my life I felt very clued up, I knew who I was and where i wanted to go in life and I prided myself on the fact that I hadnt yet made any grave mistakes and i certainly didnt have any regrets . I had a large circle of friends and goodlooking boyfriend who was smitten with me, a great family and life was just generally great. My childhood memories are pretty much perfect thanks to the most wonderful parents in the world, however that was kind of the problem. I had been sheltered from a lot and I only knew who I thought my parents wanted me to be, not necessarily who I was destined to be. Needless to say when I hit 20 and became a mummy myself, my whole life changed and everything I thought I knew was thrown into question again!!!
This was when I literally went from what should have been the best point in my life to the absolute worst in the exact time it takes to shot your favourite liquor or so it seemed at the time.  It was a case of 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 Tequila……MORE which obviously led to 1 headache, 2 mistakes, 3 Wishes……FLOOR!!! But I survived to tell the tale. Isn’t it mad how the good memories seem to fade so much quicker than the endless replays of mistakes we make? It’s weird because I actually achieved a lot professionally at that time yet as soon as I hit emotional turmoil and checked into heart break hotel it all seemed to pale in comparison and some of my proudest moments were drowned in the tears of my pain.
I was studying at Manchester University, had a beautiful baby daughter and  I was playing house with my high school sweet heart, he was my first boyfriend and we were engaged to be married…. He was My first and Only Love to date and I had the most supportive family ever; I was definitely living the dream, well at least my dream. It was the only point in my life that I was ever truly happy. Until true to form my life got turned on its head in a major way. Life threw me a curve ball and no one on my team gave me a heads up till the ball had smacked me clean in my face!!! Then came the ‘told you so’s..’ from certain individuals. Now I can’t really go into too much detail here as its material from my forthcoming book and lets be real if I give you too much now then why would you bother reading it later…….im just saying lol.
Anyway with my life in pieces and my mind on a spin dry cycle needless to say I was a mess and I made the critical mistake of making PERMANENT decisions based on a TEMPORARY situation!!! Would you like to know where that leads you???? Right down a dark alley, with no guide, no light and no sense of direction because although you’re standing still your heads still spinning. Truthfully at this point your only option is to put one foot in front of the other and HOPE for the best. I think it’s interesting though when you’re actually in the darkness and you have no option other than to rely on your instincts, how quickly you tend to sober up. The harsh reality that regardless of all the family, friends, and so called lovers that you have, when it comes down to it in the end your journey is exactly that, YOURS!! And recognising that you’re all ALONE in this world, doesn’t have to mean that you’re LONELY but it will help you to take accountability of your own life instead of playing the victim and the blame game for what people have or haven’t done to or for you. Once you take control of yourself the rest is easy. That’s not to say that we have to do everything on our own I do believe certain people come in and out of our lives like angels sometimes to make our journey just that little easier, but I also think certain individuals are sent to cross our paths to test our character and try and prevent us from fulfilling our destiny which to me implies that only WE have the ‘freewill’ that God gave us to decide whether or not continue on the right path, the path to Love, the path where our dreams come true and we experience true joy. I say continue on because I believe we are all born on the right path and that no one is born bad but circumstance, experience, education and socialisation or lack of can change people’s direction or knock them off their destined path. Influence is a very powerful tool and just as someone can inspire you to be great, nurture your gifts and talents and encourage you to be the best you can be, likewise there are people that target those who are indecisive, unsure and uncertain of who they are and why they are here. Speaking negativity and sowing seeds of doubt into their lives. I.e. you’re NOT good enough, you’re NOT talented enough, you’re NOT brave enough ultimately implying that you’re NOT intelligent enough to make up your own mind and chose for yourself. Getting lost can be a blessing in disguise, hitting breaking point can be your defining moment. Sometimes we need to be forced to face life and only when your backs against the wall, when you’ve lost everything and breathing becomes difficult do we bother fighting back. Transition forces change and change can equal one of two things growth/evolution or extinction Darwin said it best ‘adapt or die’. I chose to fight back and although during my transition years I faced a lot of cross roads and I took the wrong turn off a couple times on my road to recovery.  I can now say that finally after roaming the wilderness for long enough, I found my inner me, I found the beauty in the break through, I picked up my pride along the way, I listened to my inner voice, followed the light in the distance and I made it out of my dark stage aka my ‘noir phase’. Currently I’m walking in my ‘tonal phase’ and its clearer to me now than it ever has been, NOTHING is black and white it’s all varying shades of grey and it’s ALL a question of perspective.
Though understandably I have a long way to get to my destination of the pearly gates….rest assured the light is getting brighter every day and when the time comes for me to write my final chapter and my destiny has been fulfilled I will walk towards the light with no reservations at all……but until then as my story unfolds and I have no idea what will come next, I await with baited breath because whether good or bad it’s ALL part of who I am and why I am here. So I will embrace it, learn from it and write about it!!!
That’s it from me, not bad for someone with writers block hey lol….  Till next weds #AlwaysLove <3

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