"CAN I HAVE THAT PLEASE?".....(DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK!!)

Well Hello again Blogheads, is it just me or does the week seem to literally fly past these days. I feel like I only just wrote my last blog yesterday lol! Anyway how is everyone doing? Good I hope, not that any of you would tell me!! Week after week now I just spill my guts and open up to you all getting all vulnerable.com and what do I get back? SILENCE!!!! I started this blog because I have a lot of things on my mind and sometimes writing it down helps me make sense of it all or at least gain some perspective. Everything I write is purely opinion based, derived from experience and wrapped up in a riddle most of the time. I decided to share my thoughts and theories with you guys because one day when I was reading some of my old journals from years and years and literally years back I realised how much my thought process had changed over the years. You know how sometimes you don’t notice how much your child has grown because you see them every day so the gradual changes aren’t so apparent but then when someone else comes around they notice the difference straight away. Well that’s pretty much how I felt when I looked back over them. I have changed so much from 17-21 years old and from 21-25 but MOST significantly from 25-29 and I would advise any of you out there who have never kept a journal to go and purchase a pen and pad right now because I assure you that in 5 years’ time when you decide to dust them off and see where your head was at they will read better than your favourite soap. From the absolutely hilarious ideas and opinions that we believe to be fact, to the drama filled, hormone fuelled friendship battles of ‘he said she said’ and ‘I like, she likes and I don’t even know who you like?’ To the cringe worthy crushes that go disastrously wrong (due to our good old friend ‘Mr or Mrs unrequited’ making their debut appearance in the daily ‘it’s all about me’ show.) Trust me it’s worth it. Alas I digress, my point was that what I write is just food for thought and I share it to inspire questions and debates either with yourself or with others but mostly with ME !! so talk to me people I would greatly appreciate hearing your thoughts or feelings about whether you agree or disagree. I love alternate viewpoints as I love to learn so feel free to educate me #SharingIsCaringYouKnow, jheeze!! That said I am setting up a Facebook Page for MZ M@NNI IN THE MORNING BLOGS so I shall post all the blogs on it and you can feel free to comment and share your own words of wisdom or insightful nuggets of gold on there. Secondly even though there wasn’t a firstly lol I would like to THANK ALL THE READERS/SUPPORTERS of my blog so far, I have received some really good feedback and its inspired me to continue writing. I have also added a translate button on my blog for those of you reading in Russia, Japan, Netherlands, France, Germany, Mauritius and India etc. thank you so much for taking an interest, I hope you enjoy todays Blog 

 

 

So this morning I woke up had my tea, prayed, meditated and set my mind as per usual and as I was playing with my prince he took the lid off my VERY INKY writing pen and between the split second it took for him to look at me with the most mischievous expression and the time taken for my voice to raise at least ten decibels the tip of the pen was firmly pressed against ………………………………………………………….my pukka pad (phew) thank goodness for that, I wouldn’t have been  so scared had we not have been in my sister’s house at the time :-/. (Syl if you’re reading this you can breathe now he didn’t get to your table lol) Anyway as I swiftly grabbed the pen from his tight grasp he then preceded to make a dash for it around the table. After our little game of cat and mouse which ended swiftly might I add (because I go gym now and I’m quicker than him hahaha) he refused point blank to give me the lid back and engaged in a very vocal screaming match. At which point I looked at him very calmly and said ‘son please!! I’m a vocalist do you really wanna go there with me, like my lungs aren’t bigger and my voice isn’t louder’ (kids) so I went head to head with him like  ‘come on then if you’re bad??’ but truth be told I think I underestimated the mere fact that he is actually MY son and clearly the competitive Sempa Gene did not skip a generation. Clearly after a good one and a half minutes of high pitched screaming (which seemed like forever) I conceded as I didn’t want to wake up my mum (who was coincidently still sleeping oops). At which point my smug little monkey squinted his eyes at me like ‘ha I WIN’ which was when I heard a quiet whisper in my ear saying ‘why not just ask him for the lid instead of trying to take it from him forcefully???’ (Hmmm the African in me was like WHAT?? Now why would I do that? he’s a child he needs to know who’s in control) but I gave it a try none the less and I swear no word of lie he put the lid in my hand with no resistance at all and ran off smiling as if to say ‘you see mummy that’s all you needed to do’…………………………..and that was it ‘my moment of insight’. I stood there dumbfounded thinking wow!! How easy was that and it got me thinking do I do that often without realising? I mean all my life I’ve been the type of person who goes against the grain and I suppose growing up around people who never understood how I think I always had to fight my own corner. So maybe being forthright became ingrained in my personality or something. I can see how sometimes, ok! maybe most of the time my actions can be misunderstood and people may confuse my confidence for arrogance and perceive my actions as aggressive but that’s because I know what I want and I go and get it instead of sitting there wishing for it (so to those people who think that, I say you’re all wishbone and no backbone)  because the truth is I just know who I am and what I want and I won’t nor would I want to apologise for that but today did get me wondering if I tried applying that approach in my own life a bit more whether it would yield better results? Let’s be real life isn’t actually complicated WE complicate it, just like a gun isn’t dangerous the person holding it is. Somewhere along the line we got taught that we CANT have what we want and that in order to get it you either have to take it by force or manipulate the situation. WELL today my son reminded me that actually sometimes neither is necessary just by simply expressing what you want and by being open and honest you can get you exactly what you want. How many of you are actually scared to say what you want out loud?? Ask yourself why?? What is the worst thing that can happen??? You don’t get it…well at the point of asking for what you want you didn’t have it anyway so you’re no worse off are you….however by being real and voicing your desires the best thing that could happen is you receive them. You don’t have to be a genius to work out that they are pretty good odds right? So my advice for this week is to just try being open and asking for exactly what you want #NoRegrets. They say the best form of defence is attack right so instead of wasting all of your energy (running round tables, playing cat and mouse with your desires) chasing what you want, STOP!! Stand still and just say ‘CAN I HAVE THAT PLEASE?’ (remember that your manners are free though lol) and just know that if the answer wasn’t what you wanted it to be, it’s probably because sometimes what you want isn’t always what you need but don’t be forceful…love is NEVER forceful it flows freely and when you’re operating on the same frequency you’ll realise that what you get in the end is always better.

#NoFearJustFaith

Till next Wednesday Mwah

#ALWAYS LOVE <3

DIG A LITTLE DEEPER PT 1: YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SAT ON A GOLD MINE THE WHOLE TIME….BUT UNLESS YOU DIG YOU WONT FIND!!

 

Good evening new and loyal followers welcome to my eighth Wednesday blog of Mz M@nni in the Morning. For those of you reading this in England you will be all too aware that actually today is Friday and it’s evidently NOT morning hahaha!! Well, my sincerest apologies to anyone who actually eagerly awaits my weekly rants. Unfortunately the torrential weather on Wednesday not only took out my internet connection but also caused me to lose all  3,478 words that I had put my heart and soul into… L *devastated is an understatement although for you guys reading it probably a blessing in disguise lol. However, as my beautiful and emotionally intelligent princess decided to tell me yesterday having ran frantically into my room (after hearing me scream out once realising that my WHOLE blog had disappeared.)

 ‘It’s ok mummy, it’s only your words that have gone, not your talent…there’s no point in getting upset, just write another blog and ask God to bless you with more words….I bet it will be even better than the last one!!….remember what you ALWAYS tell me… everything happens for a reason’ 

Wow!! Well that was me being told (oddly enough by myself) lol. Whilst feeling very proud and overwhelmed all at the same time I took her/my advice and sucked it all up and started again from scratch just like she said. My Princess was right on the money, it is so easy to focus on what’s gone wrong sometimes instead of putting effort into what can be done to fix it….so todays blog is 100% dedicated to my unbelievably intelligent, empathetic and insightful daughter THAIYANA SEMPA-DAWKINS whom I love and admire with all my heart and mark my words WILL change the world some day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well here goes nothing, recently I have been talking to a lot of my female friends who are pushing thirty or have rolled over to nearly 40 and the topic of ‘where have all the good men gone?’ kept coming up in conversation. Now before all the good men start piping up, switching off or reaching for the little x in the top right hand corner, you might want to finish reading my thoughts first, as this is far from a male bashing blog you may assume it to be. In fact it’s completely the opposite. Well I’m clearly no expert in this field but it is something that I have been deliberating over for the past couple weeks now, so here’s what I think………..

For all the so called ‘good’ men and ‘good’ women out there who are incidentally single in this current climate, it’s understandable that after a while of trying to meet the right ones but ending up with the wrong ones, one starts to lose faith in whether or not ‘The One’ actually exists???? Am I right? Then after dating enough wrong ones both sexes are convinced that the universe is conspiring against them and that actually maybe they’re not having any luck because they are looking for something/someone that doesn’t exist. Thus ‘Good’ guys decide that ALL girls just want a bad boy and pretty much give up on being nice and become cynical towards love and ‘Good’ girls decide that after meeting one too many ‘Bad’ Boys ALL men are the same and they both end up jaded and stop looking for LOVE. Seriously I am forever hearing why are all guys’ jerks? And why can’t I just meet a decent man? When the reality is they probably already have, many times but they haven’t chosen to recognize them.(TO BUSY NOTICING WHATS WRONG INSTEAD OF ACKNOWLEDGING WHATS RIGHT) You see few people ever stop to address the ‘Real’ problem. They’re looking for the right answers but asking all the wrong questions? There comes a point you have to stop asking what’s wrong with the world and everyone in it and start asking what’s wrong with you?  Ask yourself why YOU find yourself attracted to Jerks and why YOU accept how they treat you? And the same goes for you men why do you choose to fall in love with women that are unavailable? The phrase it’s NOT them it’s YOU seems applicable here. Change starts within and it always starts with us. If you want a better relationship or just a relationship full stop, then fix the one you have with yourself first. We spend so much time looking at the problem that that all five, ten, fifteen relationships later we still haven't found the solution. Then we start looking to external forces for answers to internal conflicts and wonder why things aren't working. In the search for the ideal Soul mate we get so preoccupied with what we want from a relationship that most of us forget to check what we are ‘bringing’ to the relationship. If we scrutinized our check list for ourselves even half as much as we do for potential partners I’m pretty sure we'd find even we don't level up. My advice, from first-hand experience is to start becoming the kind of person you would want to be with and then maybe when you reach that goal Mr or Mrs Right will turn up on time, when you least expect it, just like in the movies lol. Ok ok I know that was a little too corny even for me but I can't help it I do believe we find what we are looking for. Hence I always look for the beauty in the world and the good in people. Mainly because the prospect of what my life would be like if I didn't doesn't even bare thinking about :-(
 

Our mind sets need resetting and the scary thing is most people don’t even know it. Twenty, thirty, forty years of conditioning to think negatively can all be changed with 1 decision to make the right choice? Don’t get me wrong if your life is bliss and you’re truly happy with it, then fine keep doing what you’re doing because obviously you must be doing something right….but if you’re honest with yourself and you find that for one reason or another it’s not and it hasn’t been for a while, then something needs to change. I told you in a past blog that the definition of insanity was repeating the same behaviour and expecting a different result and trust me they are words to live by….if you change your thinking you’ll change your world. Look up the biographies of those whom you admire and what they did to get to where they are and guaranteed the one thing they ALL have in common is what I call the ‘Mind Set’ of a winner.
So in conclusion to the question where have all the good men gone??? They haven’t gone anywhere, they’re exactly where they’ve always been…right in front of you, you just have to dig a little deeper to find some of them!! As with most gold it’s usually buried and hard to find but isn’t that what makes it so much more valuable when you do?  In order to attract a decent stand-up guy/girl you first have to be a decent evolved man/woman who deserves one. (and speaking as someone who is currently still very much single I have to assume that God has not finished with me yet and that I am clearly still a work in progress lol ;-) but you know what I’m cool with that because although

 "I may not be where I need to be, THANK GOD I am not where I used to be (Joyce Meyer)

Look at a man for who he ‘could become’ instead of the man ‘he is’ and everything might start to look a little different. Try loving him unconditionally just as you would your child and see what happens. For those of us with children you’ll know first-hand that it’s so easy to see the greatness in them? We see the better version of them even when they’re not behaving that way and we nurture it. Can you imagine what would happen if we applied that concept to our other halves.  ‘See a man as he should be, and that shall he become.’ On that note peeps remember that the conflicts and drama we face externally is just a mirror to the conflicts we are facing internally and as easy as it is to want to blame everyone else for our situations the truth is it’s on US. What you think about you bring about. Choose to think on happiness, love and hope instead of fear anger and doubt and watch how the laws of attraction get to work.

"If what you think about you bring about and the law of attraction is true and your reflection of life is Sh!t then the problem is YOU!!" (NIA-JAI)

It’s not that Life isn’t good or that good men and women don’t exist, it’s just that we stopped LOOKING for it.

Change your mind and you'll change what you find I promise!!

Till next Wednesday or Friday lol

#ALWAYSLOVE

<3

#MINDSET OF A WINNER

Welcome back readers and fellow bloggers today I have had a slight change of heart I had previously started writing a blog about men and women and the whole Venus versus Mars concept but as I was trying to write my head just wasn’t in it. I kept getting flashbacks of Bolt in the men’s 100 m and Blake from the men’s 400m relay, and watching Nicola Adams make history and I just knew I had to write a completely different blog, an Olympian worthy one lol so here goes…… J

 Its been what three days now since the official closing cermeony and I am still experiencing withdrawl symptoms :-/ but how about the rest of you? How are you all feeling in the aftermath of the brilliant Olympics London 2012??? Of Mixed emotions I’m guessing right?? And understandably so, after all of the anticipation and basking in the roars of applause when Team GB finally won some of THE most coveted medals in the world!! We were ALL so proud. However with all the excitement of that coupled with the Legend himself showing us what GREATNESS personified looks like, the anti climax of coming down to earth when it was all over should be nothing more than expected to be fair, yet for me the awkward silence that followed was deafening.

I found that in the aftermath of such a great worldwide event I was not only feeling inspired and encouraged but also frustrated. I had accumulated all this positive energy just from watching the elite athletes at the top of their game, do what they KNOW they do best and as a direct result of that it highlighted my desires to do bigger and better things with my life. Now I have an even stronger urge to break boundaries, push myself and my body to its limits and make my mark on this world. However the only problem with all these BIG ideas is exactly that….. At this point they are all JUST ideas. As you know when it comes to energy it just needs direction, so whether we have too much or not enough of it, it’s up to us to redirect it where it’s needed. Too much potential and no movement will inevitably result in an implosion of sorts. So my advice is, to take that fresh energy, just like after the first day of the beginning of the year when we’re all ecstatic about setting our new year’s resolutions and START something. Start something that YOU LOVE because anything you put LOVE into WILL yield results. Energy is neither created nor destroyed its merely transferred hence you WILL get out what you put in. If you are in the process of something you have already started then focus more energy into that. Don’t let the excitement from the Olympics just fizzle out channel your energy and use it to gain momentum. Big dreams always start out small and when the reality of how you’re actually going to make them come to pass sets in that’s when there’s suddenly an overwhelming sense of doubt and fear but when their cousins ‘pride’ and ‘procrastination’ decide to pay you a visit, It’s at this point that you have a decision to make. You can either open the door to these thoughts of self-doubt and that nagging little devil on your shoulder that always voices his opinion even when it wasn’t asked for, or you can SHUT that door firmly in their face and become CXF’s reigning champion like 5x in a row J …….

…..hahaha ok wait! Let me just fill those in who may not have a clue what I’m talking about right now. Since the beginning of the year one of my New Year’s resolutions was to get my body back into shape after the birth of my beautiful prince. I started out on a whole new healthy lifestyle kick. I had already began the journey of getting my mind right and so it was time for body to get in line too, #HealthyMindHealthyBody was the Moto (not y.o.l.o Mr Wayne) but as always with me I don’t like to do things by halves in fact the only thing that I like to halve is the time taken to achieve a goal ;-). So I got myself a personal trainer, amended my diet and joined what can only be described as THE MOST Competitive, eXtreme yet super Fun (CXF) fitness classes around!! At a time when I was the Heaviest I have ever been, completely out of shape with no fitness level to speak of. Needless to say I was more than a little bit self-conscious about getting in front of a mirror never mind a personal trainer or room full of people but I knew in my mind what I wanted to achieve and I am old enough, sorry wise enough to know first-hand that the way to get what you want in life is to just go for it, so then my mantra became #DontSpeakAboutItBeAboutIt. Just over half way through the year and I have been putting in the work (you only have to look at my social networking sites to know that) training three times a week, eating right and I am feeling better than I ever have period. I have so much more energy, my confidence levels are right back up where they USED to be, I feel fitter, stronger and more determined than I ever was. So much so that I actually WANT to train most days and struggle to not do anything on my REST days (I know imagine that). I think it’s fair to say I have officially got the #CXFADDICTION and it’s not about looking good anymore it’s about the rush that I get when I push my body past its limits, or beat my previous target goals or compete in the CXF challenge against others who visibly appear to be stronger than me and I WIN ;-), it’s that feeling that is second to none and it reaffirms my lifelong mantra that everything is subject to #MindOverMatter and whatsoever you can conceive you can achieve!!

I don’t know about you guys but there is just something amazing about watching athletes who have put their heart and soul, blood, sweat and tears into something they believe in finally reap their rewards. Whether it was GOLD, SILVER or BRONZE it was an achievement that they worked hard for and NO ONE can ever take that away from them. It’s a moment in their lives that they will have forever. Your first Olympic Medal, the first time you create a new world record, the first moment that you can actually point to and say that was the day that everything changed, when I competed against the BEST on a world platform and WON!!!!!! Ok I’m sorry but I just get too excited just thinking about that, it seriously sends my head west and gets my heart racing (Who needs Porn lol)… Ladies be real with yourselves now, you can’t deny that between the men’s 100 m, the male divers and the Gymnasts on their pummel horses (Louis Antoine Smith and John Orozco) ;-) you were NOT visually disappointed were you????? I’m playing with you, but in all seriousness when its game time and you’re stood at the starting line it’s all on you, nothing that others can say or do can change what’s meant to be. Truthfully, I am in awe of that but I’m not jealous because I KNOW I’ll have my time and when I do I will make sure I savour every last moment of it after all in the end the only things we are left with are the memories, so I intend on creating some GREAT ones. I have soooo many things that I want to do with my life and I know for a fact that when I’m over sixty and I’m kicking back relaxing, Plus still looking HOTT (No seriously have you seen my Mum) I will feel like I’m flying high and ALL I will want to do is recall these days.

Never wish for tomorrow today, EVERYTHING has its time and place…live for the moment and savour the taste, Start your life today and don’t procrastinate. Put in the time and focus your energy on whatever it is YOU want from YOUR life, the hardest step is always the first one, once you can walk eventually you can run. The Olympians are proof that EVERYDAY someone’s dreams come true and all I’m saying is why can’t that someone be YOU!!!!

Hope you enjoyed my thoughts for the day J

#ALWAYSLOVE <3

A GRAVE MISTAKE!!

……..And so the GRAVESTONE reads ‘here lies the definition of insanity, one who lived repeating the same behaviour and expecting a different result’ (R-I-P  'mind' 1983-2010)

I’m a clever girl right? I’m emotionally intelligent right? I’m perceptive and more recently I would like to think intuitive also... right??? So why then when it comes to matters of the heart do I feel like I am slightly 'special' shall we say, and should have been kept behind a class or retaken the module heartbreak 101 till I actually passed or better still learnt something!!!

You have to admit it is funny how the wise words of a doting mother can ring in your head over and over again like Sirens ascending in volume because you didn’t heed the advice the first time round but why as young daughters who clearly DONT know better do we insist on thinking we do??? Only to come back with our tails between our legs seeking to be consoled and then looking shocked when we receive the ‘I told you so’ speech. Then we promise ourselves next time we WILL listen because mums actually do know best but low and behold it never really works out that way...does it?? 

Ok maybe that’s just me but I swear sometimes I just want to give my head a wobble just to make sure that there is actually a brain still in there somewhere. I am starting to think however that maybe emotional intelligence and textbook intelligence don’t necessarily go hand in hand or at least they shouldn’t be presumed to, just like some people have textbook intelligence and no common sense. (PS If you took offence to the statement aforementioned then you probably fall into that category don’t ya hahaha)

I just don’t understand why when it comes to emotions all rationale goes out of the window. It’s like my heart can’t seem to get in gear or at least get on the same road as my brain. When it gets excited it shifts straight to fifth and one foot instantly floors the accelerator but my head is screaming ‘what are you doing?’ and my other foot slams on the breaks in an emergency stop. Understandably this has and always does end in a Car Crash, as has most of my relationships pre Christ to be fair because for some reason I would make the same mistake every single time. I would throw caution to the wind and free fall head first (of course) right off the cliff with no thought for consequence, if it FELT good I was involved. Until the last time however, when suddenly I realised a little too late there wouldn’t always be angels to break my fall and I hit the ground HARD!!!

I crashed and I burnt,

Lesson learnt,

I’m not doing that again, no sir

I saw the snakes and the grass aint greener

The other side is dark and the air aint cleaner.

But I’m a warrior Princess I’m like Xena,

Try and pull me down but I’m still gonna keep up,

Heart of a fighter, mind of a leader

NO ONE can call me an Under achiever!!!

Coz even when things turned out for the worse,

I turned it ‘round, made it better for my purse,

And my drive to succeed got fuelled by the hurt

So I decided to used the pain as material for work,

See there’s POWER in my Words

And if Money is Power then you know I’m getting cash returns!!

I said there is POWER IN MY WORDS

And I’m a Lyricist so go figure how much Ima earn………..??????

(NIA-JAI 2012)

You see I had to learn the hard way what I’m trying to share with you now,

‘WITH INSTANT GRATIFICATION COMES GREAT RAMIFICATIONS’ (nia-jai)

and truth be told as ‘happy’ as a mistake might make you at the time, I guarantee the pain of the consequence will make you FEEL ten times worse afterwards. Don’t let your emotions rule you take control of them and understand that ‘happiness’ is fleeting which is why pursuing it seems pointless. It is what you make it and you’ll find it exactly where you are….. it just takes some of us longer to realise, that what we were searching for was right there with us all along.

So in conclusion please don’t be how I was, we don’t just MAKE MISTAKES and they are NOT just something that happens to us on some level subconsciously, whether we recognise it or not there’s a reason why certain things keep happening and you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. Dig a little deeper, do some self-analysis and pretty soon I think you’ll find that your quality of life improves. Continually making the same mistakes is truly the definition of insanity…….break the cycle!!!

Till next Wednesday (or Thursday :-/)

#ALWAYS LOVE

xx