THAT MOMENT WHEN.....PT 2 !!

“Where there is DESIRE, there is gonna be a FLAME…..and Where there is a Flame Someone’s Gonna get BURNED….But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die……You Gotta get up and TRY & TRY & TRY!!” (P!NK)

Well what better way to start today’s blog than with a quote from one of my favourite artists NEW album (The Truth about Love ) which so aptly ties in with  the theme of this week’s dilemma, That Moment When….YOU REALISE YOU WANT MORE THAN JUST A MOMENT!!

So this week has been, eventful shall we say. I was presented with a proposition where what should have been an easy answer turned out to be a difficult decision. Don’t worry I’m not going to tie you up in riddles and go around the houses with this one I’m going to get straight to it. (seeing as I know some of you think every blog I write is like a novel, I shall try and keep this one short and sweet just like me ;-)

But before I do, I would just like to point out that today’s blog is rated NFC/GFO  (not for children) (Grown Folk Only) and should maybe be more of an evening read than a morning one ;-). Also Ladies you might want to grab a glass of wine, put some mood music on and take a trip down memory lane with me (don’t worry you’ll understand soon enough). I apologise in advance for anyone who might take offence by what they are about to read but tonight I’m tapping into the side of me which is currently being neglected in a major way, in the attempts to legitimately release some tension.  Any whoo, So someone who shall remain nameless kindly pointed out to me recently that SEX is a beautiful thing and is TOOO good to be missing out on while waiting on Mr right to turn up….. yeah I know pretty brazen right? And I have to say I was taken aback for a minute. My initial reaction was like excuse you!!!  what kind of woman do you take me for but then as I got over my ego and he continued to explain his rationale behind this bold statement I realised that he actually had a point to a certain extent. Sex is or can definitely be good/ GREAT  but sex with someone you LOVE can be AMAZING!!!!!! I mean level with me for a second surely anyone who has been fortunate enough to have sex with someone they love knows there is a BIG DIFFERENCE right? (And if your answer is NO I would just like to point out that you probably weren’t in love sorry) I would even go as far as saying a HUGE difference, but for arguments sake just close your eyes with me for a minute, I want you to go back to the last time you were with the person you Love or loved and remember exactly what it felt like before, during and after the first time you had sex with that person……….focus on every intimate detail. For some of you, you will be able to instantly feel exactly how you felt in that moment when you made love for the first time. That moment when you couldn’t catch your breath because your heart was pounding so hard and just looking in their eyes made your whole body melt, that moment when every kiss and every touch sent shivers down your spine and you just wished that you could freeze time…that moment when one night felt like a life time.

Now flash back to the first time you had sex with someone you were attracted to but not in love with, where the chemical attraction was overwhelming. I mean you couldn’t even be in the same room as said person without wanting to rip their clothes off. That moment when the person just has to look at you, or stand next to you and you could have an orgasm. Yeah that moment right there when you finally succumb and realise that you can’t fight it anymore and nor do you don’t want to. For 5 minutes of your blissful life you’re in ecstasy and flying high until……… it’s over and that’s it!! You come crashing down to earth and have to exit your temporary euphoric state with nothing else than what you came with. (No pun intended)

Now returning to what I said previously, remember how you felt before, during and after both events what’s the difference??? Do I even need to point it out? Ok I will. Let’s start with the similarities, BOTH can start with passion and intensity, BOTH can exhilarate your body and take you on the ride of your life BUT only ONE will be there when the rides over. ONE fills a void the other just supresses it. ONE is gratifying to your mind, body and soul the other is just release for your body. ONE leaves you feeling filled and whole the other leaves you feeling emptier than you did in the first place. So why was I so confused about what to do with my out of the blue proposition??? because ladies and gentlemen…..I AM HUMAN and I have a needs, so although my mind knows categorically I should just say NO my body clearly has a ‘mind’ of its own and was screaming Yes. Alas I was conflicted, some would say stuck between a hard place and a rock (I would say that doesn’t sound like a bad place to be right about now, against the wall could be good loooool  sorry!! my bad) but honestly ladies if you saw the guy in question you would fully understand my dilemma. In fact you know what for arguments sake ima break it down for y’all so you can fully appreciate my situation. Imagine that person that you are OVERLY attracted to, you don’t know why but the chemistry is intense. You find it difficult to concentrate on anything when they’re a round, and you can’t even look them their eyes because it’s too dangerous …so much so that you try your best to avoid eye contact on all accounts because trust me not even my will power stands a chance. They stand near you and you have to step back to maintain physical distance, you anticipate EVERY touch even if accidental and as for the way they look…..pfft  visual stimulation can definitely be a bitch. Worse still is knowing that the sex with that person is good because you’ve been there done that so you’re mind starts racing and  you’re thinking well why should I window shop if I could cop that??? Well my friends because every ‘purchase’ comes at a price and so the question becomes are you willing to pay that price??

Soooo you wanna know don’t you??? did I or didn’t I ???? Well NO I didn’t because I realised that actually as tempting as it all seemed I knew I wanted “MORE than just a moment” and luckily for me I have been practicing abstaining from following my feelings, seeing as they always seem to lead me down the garden path or into a pit full of snakes.        (although it is said that resistance is futile so pray for me people lol) For you men out there it would probably be the equivalent of like Beyoncé or shakira offering themselves to you on a plate and you having to politely decline…..EXACTLY!!! Now you feel my pain don’t ya ??

However I did learn a long time ago though that ‘what you need and what you want are two different things’ and irrespective of my ever increasing sexual frustration L  sex outside of love is JUST NOT what I’m looking for and (repeat with me now) “ Doing the Same things and expecting Different results is what???? The DEFINITION OF INSANITY” 

So to wrap this up neatly, I don’t know about you but as I’m continuing to slide up the age scale onto the better side of 25 lol a lot of things are changing for me, in particular my thought process. I can honestly say when I look back on the way I used to see life it was definitely through the eyes of a child. I was lead well, actually I was more like handcuffed and controlled by my feelings and going along with whatever felt good but for those of you who don’t already know,  “what feels good doesn’t necessarily heal good” (Nia-Jai ©) if you catch my drift and Making impulsive decisions, going off on a whim, doing what you feel too with no regard for what comes next will ONLY ever lead you to one place and that’s the ‘Road 2Regret’. So I did the right thing, which means I finally learnt my lesson from the last time I got burnt, but for those of you who have only just made that mistake like P!nk says just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die after all I didn’t or I haven’t (YET!!) and you know what they say “Good Things come to those who wait right?” well I’m just hoping God decides to send something good my way pretty soon lol… But until then take it from someone who knows if you weren’t fortunate enough to have ever been told….

 “Do what you NEED to NOT what you FEEL to…..IGNORANCE ISNT BLISS it just lands you in Sh!t” (Nia-Jai 2012 ©)

Till next Wednesday Ima Love ya and Leave ya ;-)

#ALWAYS LOVE

“To be or Not to be Heart (BROKE) n…”

Well, well, well,  now my fellow ‘Nosey’ so and so’s thank you for joining me once again on another fine Wednesday Morning, even though technically for me it’s actually a Tuesday night and its approximately 22:56 lol. It is rapidly becoming one of my favourite evenings that I look forward to the most if I’m honest. I tuck my kiddiewinks in bed and evidently get in with them, seeing as my prince is refusing point blank to sleep in his own cot now and my Princess obviously has pleaded her case very strongly too. On the basis that, what’s good for the goose should surely be good for the gander unless, I’m sexist or "favourtist" or something Hahaha now how I could I argue with that… (Hence there were 3 in the bed even though mummy said move over, move over….preferably to your own beds) lol. It’s cool though, besides the fact that there is clearly no ‘Love of my Life’ warming up my bed, I can’t deny that I love all the cuddles through the night just not so much the random fists flying and flinging of legs that always land on target like they have some sort of heating seeking device attached to them. (Yes I have actually woken up with a swollen lip on a few occasions and although my lips are quite full anyway YES!! you could see the difference).

Anyway enough about me, let’s get into it. Tonight as I was lying in bed I was thinking what should I blog about today? what inspires me to write? I pulled out my lappy and opened up my iTunes, clicked on the ‘GENIUS’ button to select a playlist for me to write to which might I add can only be described as ‘GENIUS’ and my NEW best friend of course (sorry Lissa) and it came to mind that aside from music, two of the biggest driving forces that will always force creativity’s hand for me are 1) Being Heart-BROKE-n or 2) Being BROKE. Whenever I have been in either situation in the past I have definitely produced some of my best work, I dont know why? maybe its because its like the wake up call that I needed in order to fix up and refocus. Maybe its because thats the only time that I have got to write about life because I am no longer too busy living it lol. It truly does amaze me but the only thing I do know is that usually God will only remove something/someone from your life when he needs you to focus on something else and he will never take away from you something which he is not willing to give back you 'ugraded' at that ;-)

So tell me something if you had the choice of being BROKE or HeartBROKEn which would you choose?? (I know smart alecs you would rather not choose any but just humor me for a minute and answer the question honestly). You see for me it’s easy I would choose being broke EVERY single time. I know from personal experience that I could be broke as a joke BUT be in love and feel like the richest person in the world. Let’s be real even with the lack of job opportunities in the current work climate, I would hedge my bets that it would still be easier to find a job than to find love. Plus when you’re in Love you’re operating at a higher energy frequency anyway so the likelihood of attracting lucrative opportunities is greater. I do believe that “if you do what you love, people will love what you do” (Nia-Jai 2011) and where love is flowing freely, finance follows…..or you might prefer how the ever so insightful Joker so eloquently phrased it “Never do something that you’re good at for FREE” ha-ha. I realise though that this is not the case for everyone in fact for a lot of my male peers (sorry to bait you up) but they find being BROKE is a lot worse. Now at the risk of sounding judgemental and downright sexist in all honesty MONEY is to (SOME) men what LOVE is to (MOST) women lol. Men’s lives seem to fall apart at the seams without Finance, they appear to spend their lives chasing money as a way of validating there existence and their manhood, whilst women appear to chase LOVE in the hopes of baring children and validating their womanhood.  Is it just that we have an innate, inbuilt honing device, where by men look to provide and women to nurture? Or is it that men equate being rich and being successful as one in the same? So if you’re rich you’re successful and if you’re successful then you’re rich?? And what about women do you feel the same? For most women that I know they don’t define success in the same manner per say. Being Rich doesn’t necessarily make for a good wife or mother and more times being a good wife or mother doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll be rich? All I’m saying is that if MEN chase money and WOMEN chase LOVE/MEN, then effectively shouldn’t women be getting the best of both worlds so that when they find love they find money too???????  Yeah right in an ideal world maybe but these days you’re lucky to find a man with a job much less money looooool *PIPE DOWN ALREADY* I’m clearly just speaking about ‘boys’ of course not you REAL men out there that are holding it down….(even though the age range for being classed as a boy must have clearly changed if that’s the case because last time I checked being 30-35 year old men, who are fit for work but find ay excuse not to is a JOKE!! and as for playing the whole ‘not guilty, blame it on the system’ card for their reasons of unemployment when there are some men that are holding down 2-3 jobs just to provide is unacceptable pfft REALLY THOUGH!!!! Sorry that’s a whole other blog my bad, but you guys know me by now, going off on random rants sometimes I can’t help it :-/

I don’t know like I said it’s just some food for thought, I mean realistically I wouldn’t like to be either Broke or Heartbroken but I cant help but notice a correlation between me being heart broken equalling me being inspired. Sometimes I think maybe pain really is the petrol that drives me. Alas, I would DEFINITELY rather be with a 'Broke Guy' who knows what LOVE is then a 'Rich Guy' who would put Money over me, because where as one has potential the other is potentially dangerous!!! (REAL TALK) But let me be clear people there is a difference between a Man who is 'Broke' and a 'BROKE' Guy……… Let me clarify:

A MAN THAT IS BROKE: is a man that is currently in a place of financial hardship but has enough drive and determination to succeed.  He is doing all that he can to change his situation which means that his current financial status is transient and he has potential to be GREAT. I.e. he is financially broke but his character is rich (THIS IS CAN WORK WITH)

A BROKE ASS MAN: however is a man that fantasises about being rich, and winning the lottery but has no drive and ambition or any intention of putting the work in to be successful….he is all wishbone and no backbone and is not only Financially broke but is probably morally and spiritually bankrupt too. (THIS I CAN’T STAND)

What do you reckon guys? Enlighten me after all wisdom is power right?

Sooo yes all this came just from me thinking what inspires my creative process? And for me the answer is LOVE or lack of it. Both pleasure and Pain, being in love or heartbroken are predominantly the main ‘Driving Forces’ on ‘My Road to Greatness’ via the path of revelation of course. That said I shall be kind enough to leave you with a little gift. A poem I wrote on the 09^th December 2009 when I was just beginning the initial stages of my spiritual awakening……ENJOY J

 

ON THE ROAD TO GREATNESS…

You have to GO through Pain,

Move away from Blame,

Bypass Shame

And when you reach the fork road

Choose the RIGHT lane.

Avoid the pot holes,

And dodgy ass roads

Pay attention to road signs

That says ‘GO SLOW’

Be careful of speed bumps,

Or stopping in zones,

That are clearly marked ‘You can ONLY load’

Because that Careless flippant attitude will get you towed,

NO!!!!!!!

Not ALL roads lead to Rome,

Some really are a No go zone,

Check your reserves, if your Prides running low

Because running on Empty won’t get you HOME!!!!!!!

To be Continued………………………………

(NIA-JAI 2009)©

#ALWAYS LOVE <3

"THAT MOMENT WHEN PT1......"

Good Morning people its Wednesday it’s the Morning and guess what My Blog is on time….you’re welcome lol, (those who know me can hi5 me when you see me :) so what’s new with me? Well a lot really, within the last 7 days of not speaking to you so much has happened but  I will try my best to pick the most relevant bit and summarise it in as few words as possible, i.e. leave out the waffle and just give you the syrup aka the juicy bits.

Where to begin? Well we can start at the end and finish at the beginning maybe? Seeing as that’s generally how my thought process works, I know it’s backwards but that’s just me I’ve adjusted to it now so you might want to tooJ.  It was the (oh so dreaded by many) Monday morning, I had dropped the children off at school with five minutes to spare and was feeling super organised. All in all I was pumped for the week ahead. Next to Sunday mornings and Friday evenings Monday is surprisingly one of my favourite days of the week, everything was running seemingly perfectly…..until……it came!!  What did? I hear you shriek. That moment that I was hoping would never come even though I knew inevitably it would. True to form it arrived prematurely via sms don’t you know!! And it read …. “Good morning I read your blog x” which I know what you’re probably thinking, ordinarily that should read as a good message right?? And yes to most it would appear that way until you take the circumstances into consideration. I.e. who the message was from (my Ex) and what the blog was that he read (What the blog are you talking about?) 

************************************silence****************************************

Yep that moment when your stomach drops and you close your eyes hoping to unsee what you just saw, frantically pressing the backup button on your galaxy Samsung S2 (which incidentally caused it to freeze for about the next 5 secs but did NOT erase the messageL)*breathe* So anyway once acceptance had kicked in and I had passed the denial phase I had no choice but to address the message. I figured that knowledge is power so I sat there for the next ten minutes #OnMySherlockHolmes trying to decipher what exactly my ex in question was thinking. (Yes I am aware looking back now that in hindsight trying to understand the workings of a man’s mind is never really wise is it? especially when it happens to be MY ex who is directly my polar opposite) but none the less I sat there thinking, did he like it? Did he hate it? Why did he only put 1kiss?  Do I have to start watching my back or is he going to play the “silent assassin card” and smile in my face then when I least expect it BLAAAAAM!!! He’ll find a way to take me out??? Hahaha Better yet is he going to just out and out declare war and should I be applying to the witness protection programme right about now !!!! As you can see sometimes I get a little ahead of myself, (read too many comic books as a child) but trust me I have learnt from past experience once you pierce a man’s pride or deflate his puffed up ego on any level!! NEVER underestimate the lengths that he will go to, to get his balls back lol. So then finally after much procrastination and deliberation, came the stage of taking action, I hit the dial button and decided that for want of not letting things get lost in translation and leaving as little room as possible for miscommunication, speaking instead of texting was my best bet. After all we know how certain people love to speak in subtext now don’t we J anyway basically he answered the phone and as predicted the anticipation of the situation was a lot worse than the actual outcome….There were no fireworks, and no need for me to dust off P!nks “so what” anthem to dance around the house to, as he took it quite well.  He was actually surprisingly supportive of my writing and the way I apparently make it “easy for the reader to relate” himself included (his words not mine).  I guess this might be a good time for me to give him a shout out actually seeing as now I know he’s probably reading this apprehensively, with his eyebrow raised and that perplexed look on his face thinking, ‘what the heck has she come out with this time??’ “don’t worry babes your secrets are safe with me and my fellow readers ALL over the WORLD!!!!” Hahaha

 (speaking of can I say a big hello and thank you to all the new readers  in Poland, China, and Ireland now, it’s very encouraging for me to keep doing what I’m doing J and very humbling to know that anyone actually cares to read what I write )

Alas back to the matter at hand I’m sure some of you guys can understand fully how I felt in that moment. That moment when what’s happened in your past comes to greet you in your future. I mean let’s be honest re-visits of any kind are never really a good thing and they never leave a nice taste in your mouth either and this was no different (ha-ha did you just imagine throwing up in your mouth a little eeew) anyway, so I made a decision a week ago to get a little more personal in my blogs. At the time I knew there would be a chance that they might be met with a little resistance but it was a choice I made and for once I was actually happy with, so far so good. But how many times have you done something like that in the past and then regretted the somewhat impulsive decision pretty much straight after you made it, or you make a decision based on how you felt in that moment only to awake and think ‘what the *blank* have I done???’ Um hmm like I always say with “instant gratification comes great ramifications”.

Life is pretty much a series of events that occur based on the decisions WE make. It doesn’t just happen to us like some would like to believe.  Our thoughts shape our perspectives which in turn dictate how we respond to situations. The problem being that a lot of times we let our emotions make our decisions for us. We act on how we feel or don’t feel instead of trying to make a choice indicative of what’s right or wrong or just best. It’s understandable why we do it, obviously it’s easier to do what we want or what feels good to us with no consideration of what the knock on effects to everyone else around us will be….but it would be pretty ignorant/naive to believe that the choices we make don’t have a direct impact on our collective consciousness.  I reckon Karma is like the universes way of levelling out the playing fields and balancing out all the poor decisions that WE as a collective make on a daily basis. One thing always leads to another and as so eloquently put in Sir Isaacs Newtons third law of motion ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ as such what we think and do as individuals one way or another always impacts on everyone. I think maybe if we paid more attention to the decisions we make instead of just making them on a whim we may not have to face so many unnecessary consequences because like it or not, agree with it or not as I have said before scientific and spiritual laws exist even without your belief in them and what you put out you will get back. I do however find it to be a little humorous though, how the universe has a way of delivering its punch lines at the most inopportune time. I suppose this adds to the whole “in your face” element which is cool for the onlooker’s maybe but not so much for the recipient though huh lol

On a real though my life has changed so much in the last few years and that’s purely because I started thinking about what I was thinking about!!! I started taking inventory of my daily thoughts and learnt how to reset my mind which evidently reset my life but that’s a whole other blog. For now I would just like to leave you with this…………………….

“Never make permanent decisions based on a temporary situation”. All actions have a reaction so make sure you have a good reason when you make certain choices in life. That way even if the choice does turn out to be the wrong one you don’t have to live with the regret just reflection which leads to growth and the evolution of self. Feelings are temporary and transient. When you make decisions with your ‘sound mind’ or as I like to say it ‘think with your heart’ and act from a place of love then either way the results will yield LOVE.

Obviously I believe we are meant to make certain mistakes as they have lessons in them that are pertinent to our individual destiny’s but that said a lot of us have been making unnecessary, flippant decisions just through lack of discipline and then sat complaining when we’re reaping the consequences of those choices……if you want to change your life, change your thoughts.

 

Till next Wednesday I shall have to love you and leave you,

#ALWAYSLOVE  <3

 

 

Oh and P.S Sylwena and Daniel guess what my blog was on time just for you guys OKAY!!!! so you can stop now with not so funny jibes or you might find yourselves the talking point of my next blog…. love u guys too lol ;-)

WHAT THE ‘BLOG’ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

To blog, or not to blog? (Is that even a question) #ALWAYSBLOG lol!!! This week’s dilemma was whether or not to write what’s on my heart? I wrestled with the whole putting myself out there and the possible repercussions of random people knowing stuff about me, then judging me without really ever knowing me, but then then I decided ‘blog that’ and I remembered that the whole point was for me to offload some of the baggage that has weighed me down over the years in the hopes of gaining a ‘moment of clarity’ and maybe helping some of you out there facing similar situations. What better time for me to do so than now!! I figured my 10^th blog should be extra special for my loyal readers. Sooo here we go I’m about to get a little personal, a little vulnerable and a whole lot of real for you guys with the help of Mr Anthony Hamilton (Back To Love album) playing on repeat in the back ground ;-) that is.

I don’t know if it’s just me but considering it’s been said that women love to talk and are constantly engaging in conversations about how they feel,  how come men think that women generally speak in code?? Newsflash ‘MOST’ of us are like open books  and quite clear about what we want, think and feel  from my experience it’s you guys who speak in ‘SUBTEXT’ and would rather skip to the next chapter or better yet close the book instead of just turning the page.

(My EX) “I love you BUT……..” translation = “I don’t love you enough” 

(ME) “I love you…” translation = I love you

(MY EX) “Yeah I know BUT what do you expect me to do?” translation = “I know what I should do BUT I’m not going to”

(ME) “What can I do to make it better?” translation = “what can I do to make it better?”

(MY EX) “I will give you what you want BUT u need to give me time” translation = “I have no intention of changing but if you love me enough you will’’

Well that my friends is why he is an Ex friend of mine lol…...I’m sure you get the point though right? It’s frustrating for me to talk to or even be around people that are just not straightforward. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever want to. I guess I am just a little fed up of late, with so many people never really saying what they actually mean. Surely it takes more effort and energy to lie and fabricate or manipulate situations than to just be honest?  And let’s be real if you have time for that then I clearly I don’t have time for you.

As for the ex in question (who’s behaviour was more than questionable to be fair) the congruency between his actions and his words left a lot to be desired. I mean he paid lip service so much that I’m pretty sure the lines between what he said and what he meant to say were actually blurred even in his own mind :-/ (And that’s saying something). You guys must know what I’m talking about and that’s just the tip of the Iceberg. Worse than that are those loose lipped, economising with the truth, gift of the gab men and women who not only lie to themselves which is madness in itself but then expect you to believe their lies to, because they do? (really though) Then they turn around and have the audacity to get angry with you when you don’t. Like how dare you not believe them? (oh I don’t know maybe perhaps because you seem to be incapable of being in the same vicinity as the truth much less in close proximity?.....jheeze)

I’m sorry if that came across a little irate but GOOD!!! It was meant to. Even thinking about the few times that my love for someone has made me question MY perception of the situation, (even though my instincts were screaming don’t listen) gets me mad….correction used to get me mad!! (Because obviously I’m so over that now and eh hemm spiritually enlightened and all that hahaha…)

I don’t know what it is but why is that when a conversation suddenly involves more than a yes no response, they shut down or switch into ‘Subtext Mode’ utilising the art of avoidance, misdirection, non-comprehension, basically using a whole lot of words whilst saying a whole lot of nothing? Confusing themselves (whilst in the process of) trying to confuse you. Me personally I’m on my catch phrase tip I just say what I see and call it how I see it. Don’t get me wrong ‘subtext’ in context i.e. stimulating conversations during courtship can be ‘interesting’ shall we say but once you hit ‘relationship’ status that ish is so NOT cute anymore. “Say what you mean and mean what you say” #Simplez  Playing games will only ever have one outcome because someone always has to lose, that said of course honesty is the best policy regardless of whether or not it’s what one wanted to hear.  One thing I have found to be the case though, is that usually when  you hear the word ‘BUT’ in a sentence whatever follows is likely to be a lie, an excuse or an attempt to completely misdirect you…It is rarely ever the TRUTH……BUT….. then again what do I know lol!!!

 So the moral of the story just “say what you mean and mean what you say…” it really is NOT that hard???? Speaking the truth always yields better results than trying to lie your way out of situations. One lie will always ultimately lead to another until you are eventually trapped by the tangled web of deceit that you weave.  I have always tried to tell the truth and be real about how I do or don’t feel only now I do it from a place of love. Granted in the past I may have been a little too frank In my opinions and forthright in my beliefs  but I never freely offered them up unless they were asked for… so in my defence if you don’t want to know what I TRULY  think you really shouldn’t ask me the question!!! Should you Lol (just sayin J )

 

Till Next Wednesday try and tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing BUT the truth!!!!

(I did say try, I never said you’d be successful lol one step at a time hey!!)

#ALWAYSLOVE <3