MZ M@NNI IN THE MORNING ;0)

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INTRODUCTION TO A SERIES OF ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCES IN MY JOURNEY SO FAR....!!!

Is it a bird? is it a plane? am I losing my damn mind??? Oh No rest assured it’s just my 30^th birthday fast approaching like it’s in competition with Usain Bolt or something. I realise that most of you are probably thinking, so what? well I assure you if that is the case then, you probably fall into the whole under 25’s,  world at your feet, full of excitement for the future category or you're in the over 40 and fabulous category, where identity crisis is not an issue and you have successfully ticked off the goals you set in your early 20’s . That said I can see why you wouldn’t necessarily be empathetic to my dilemma, but this blog right here is for those of us, who are still at a cross roads. Not yet cynical enough to give up completely on life but yet losing ground at a quicker rate than we are making progress….sinking quick in the sands of time which, is evidently no longer on our side.

OK! so, it's been what? 29 years and..........................well who cares how many months, since I graced the world with my wonderful presence and in all those years you would presume I must have learnt something, right?. Well if I'm honest, at this point in my life I can't help but feel that every time I take 2 steps forward I'm knocked at least 10 strides back and though I'm no Einstein I'm pretty sure that's not a good look when you do the maths lol.

So why blog about it?!?  Well late one evening, I had executed my usual home routine with the kids to perfection. My babies were washed, fed and tucked up in bed. My house was looking immaculate (if i do say so my self). I had my bottle of Blossom Hill Signature rose chilling in the fridge, my vanilla and magnolia scented candles lit and the sexy serenading sounds of George Benson's 'Breezin' playing in the back ground. So yes one would be forgiven for thinking that this was leading to some sort of romantic climax (cue leading male etc), but nope one would be soarly mistaken, E.L James I am not and regretfully 50 shades of grey is about as close as I'll be getting to any steamy, erotic love scenes any time soon.

However the only thing scarier than that is how much updating my social networking sites and socialising on line has become part of my everyday life, without me even noticing.

In a generation where we are fortunate enough to have access to the "Whole Wide World" and a global platform with which to really express ourselves, I (along with you lot)  was sharing the mundane day to day affairs of my life I.e. uploading what i am doing, who I'm with, where I'm going instead of sharing stories about the dramas I've faced,the joys I've experienced, the mistakes I've made and passing on the endless wisdom I could share because of my tragically humorous life.... or lack of lol !!

If only you knew!! Well I guess within the next few weeks or so you're probably going to. I have some stories to tell that would shock even my most closest of friends and although I have been a private person for the longest of time I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. That said I decided that actually my "Mess" could be someone Else's "Message" and my "Pain" could have "Purpose" and what better way to share it with you all then  through the wonderful world of Blogging??

With so much to say though, where should I start? Well the beginning is always a good place I hear you say and for me it all began at 19. The "Transition Years,"  from a young adult to a grown up. The time for sacrifice, letting go of what was and planning for what will be, no longer a child but not yet a successful adult?!? It stands to reason that this time would be testing to say the least. For those of us who had a wonderful childhood we find it hard to dig up roots and let go of all that we know. So we spend endless time reminiscing over the past, rehashing over the memories of ‘the one that got away’ (who coincidentally never felt the same about you anyway and clearly isn’t worth using up any of your precious memory space) Just wishing we could turn back the hands of time. With our eyes closed and dreaming of 'what was' we end up stumbling into obstacles in the 'what is' and hitting the ground face first as we fall into our future of 'what will be.' (exactly! don’t try this at home kids)

 However for those who weren’t so fond of their "yesteryear's" letting go is the easy part but its the  building a NEW FUTURE that will make up for the past that you never had that's scary. Simply put it's a time for growth and as everyone knows from the memories of their adolescent years, growing pains suck!!!

Pruning , plucking, shaping, moulding and just when we thought we had finished with all that.... we look around and realise that actually our grown up years are not much different than our teenage ones. We still face the same boy issues which are now intensified because those ‘boys’ are now MEN ‘acting like boys,’ we have the same friendship trials because everyone is moving on or away, getting married or not getting ‘any’ (singledom) having babies or buying houses and there just isn’t enough time in the day. Work takes up so much precedence because of the need for finance that now your family is feeling estranged and drifting apart and pretty much EVERY dynamic of EVERY relationship in your life is suddenly strained and in need of serious redefining*raised eyebrow/shakes head*

…..l welcome you ALL to your "teenage years on steroids!!!!!" if you thought the 1st time around was bad......?!? try being nearly 30 and still Lost this time the Consequences are more severe, the tactics are more discreet but the numbers of under cover haters has increased significantly.

 ................LET THE DRAMA BEGIN!!!!

Always Love,

Nia-Jai

…..NEXT ON MZ M@NNI IN THE MORNING: ‘ TEENAGE YEARS ON STEROIDS’ Wednesday 11^th July 2012