TAKING BACK YOUR "KEY"... "The only way OUT is to go THROUGH..."

I’ve heard it said that those who say “NEVER” almost certainly will……so why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we bother using the 'N' word??

For those who don’t know, I wrote a single a while back entitled ‘AGAIN’ notice the absence of the word that shall remain nameless lol…..and guess what yep after singing/rapping about how i was never going to do it AGAIN!!! from the top of my lungs, in the hopes of gaining some kind of closure, you can guess what happened right?? Yesss people I did it ‘AGAIN’ and not in the Britney Spears sense of the word either lol. I did a complete 360 degree turn and returned to exactly where I left off. Right back to the same equation in the hopes of achieving a different answer…..Why???.

 

It’s just Monogamy Not maths.

It was a simple addition of you plus me,

U know those Promises about starting a family,

Trust me the logic aint hard to conceive

How you gonna build Love on the grounds if they’re weak???

You little cheat,

Trapped! in deceit,

Bet thought you could go and pull a fast one on me,

Till I went and pulled a card out right from my sleeve

And decided it’s time I subtracted me,

Please!!!

You should really comprehend with ease

It’s not something you should need explaining jheeze

It’s not algebra One plus two makes three,

If it’s YOU (plus) HER then (minus) ME

Coz my tables for 2 there’s no party for 3

Ménage a nuttin nah NOT me…..

Because there’s….. 2 many Fish in the sea!!!!

(NIA-JAI ©2008)

#KNOWURWORTH

 

 

Well it has been said that those who can’t do… TEACH and clearly whilst I hold no intentions of slating those among us who are wonderful teachers, rest assured in this instance this statement refers more so to me more than anyone else. I guess I write about love or the lack of it because at present I’m not living it. So if those who can’t do teach then I guess those who don’t have write lool. I have made such a mess of my Love Life in the past, that for the last 3 years or so I have been trying to rectify this problem (correction MY PROBLEM….) and unfortunately whilst I seem to have made significant progress I sure as hell haven’t cracked it yet. I figured that now that I have you guys to talk to, maybe for a change YOU might want to help me out, because anyone who knows me knows I clearly need it.

So todays blog will be the beginning of a much needed role reversal…..I’m going to highlight some of the problems I have been experiencing and you can feel free to enlighten me.

When it comes to me and 'Love' the penny just doesn’t seem to want to drop. Every time I turn a corner or make some kind of breakthrough it only lasts momentarily before I hit another dead end, forcing me to re-evaluate my path. The last book I read was Deepak Chopra’s “The Path to Love” and while theoretically gaining all this insight can’t be detrimental to me…it’s all good when you’re in a good place but as soon as that Black cloud reappears or you find yourself trying to continue navigate through the darkness without a flashlight things immediately get harder. I find myself writing songs, poems and more recently books/blogs on my ever insightful journey TO and THROUGH love but at present it just seems never ending. So how do you really gain closure?? Because from personal experience if a situation continues to persist or resurface from time to time then surely that means that it hasn’t been resolved?? As I am a result driven person you can understand my dilemma. Do both parties involved need to agree that it is over for it to ever really be over? And if that’s the case can you really get any closure by closing the door on a relationship if they still have a key???

Taking back the key to an apartment/house is a great physical representation of drawing a line but how often do we do pack our bags with a pre prepared, magnificently scripted monologue, make our grand exist in the dramatic closing scene …….only to find that actually we closed the door but FORGOT to take the key. And before you get carried away I don’t just mean to the door I mean the key to your HEART. Leaving someone, ending something, or even moving somewhere else does not = Letting Go. I’ve found that the process of moving on sometimes can take longer for others when they aren’t even aware that they haven’t moved on.

 On numerous occasions I have talked to people that truly believe in their hearts that they’ve gone through the break up steps from beginning to end and that they’ve healed and they’re ready to move on but I have come to find that usually people are as reluctant to be honest with themselves as they are with other people (MYSELF included) and with that said they tend to only deal with the symptoms rather than the condition neglecting that if you deal with the cause you wont need to search for a cure. 

Just because you’re mind has processed the end of a relationship and is ready to start again, doesn’t necessarily mean that your heart is in the same place. Too often once we have given away the key to our hearts we forget to get it back and we enter new relationships only to realise that they won't last. You manage to get to a certain point when the other person decides to give you their heart but then you wonder why you can’t reciprocate and give them yours. At first you may think that it’s because you just don’t feel the same but after a few failed attempts and the sudden realisation that there was nothing wrong with the people you were dating, you arrive at the understanding that you couldn’t GIVE your heart because it wasn’t there to give.

Now the hard the journey really begins because as anyone who has ever come out of the other end of heart ache will know,

"The only way out of the fire is to go through it."

And no you can’t go through the flames and expect your flesh not to get burnt but if your spirit is strong you can walk across hot coals and still be ok. I don’t know about you but I’m taking back my key today #FeelThePainBut DoItAnyway. Face your fears or whatever it is that you don’t want to hear and know that more often than not in life;

“ it’s not about avoiding the punches life throws at you BUT taking the hit and choosing to fight instead of quit” (Nia-Jai ©)

 

#ALWAYSLOVE <3