THAT MOMENT WHEN.....PT 2 !!

“Where there is DESIRE, there is gonna be a FLAME…..and Where there is a Flame Someone’s Gonna get BURNED….But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die……You Gotta get up and TRY & TRY & TRY!!” (P!NK)

Well what better way to start today’s blog than with a quote from one of my favourite artists NEW album (The Truth about Love ) which so aptly ties in with  the theme of this week’s dilemma, That Moment When….YOU REALISE YOU WANT MORE THAN JUST A MOMENT!!

So this week has been, eventful shall we say. I was presented with a proposition where what should have been an easy answer turned out to be a difficult decision. Don’t worry I’m not going to tie you up in riddles and go around the houses with this one I’m going to get straight to it. (seeing as I know some of you think every blog I write is like a novel, I shall try and keep this one short and sweet just like me ;-)

But before I do, I would just like to point out that today’s blog is rated NFC/GFO  (not for children) (Grown Folk Only) and should maybe be more of an evening read than a morning one ;-). Also Ladies you might want to grab a glass of wine, put some mood music on and take a trip down memory lane with me (don’t worry you’ll understand soon enough). I apologise in advance for anyone who might take offence by what they are about to read but tonight I’m tapping into the side of me which is currently being neglected in a major way, in the attempts to legitimately release some tension.  Any whoo, So someone who shall remain nameless kindly pointed out to me recently that SEX is a beautiful thing and is TOOO good to be missing out on while waiting on Mr right to turn up….. yeah I know pretty brazen right? And I have to say I was taken aback for a minute. My initial reaction was like excuse you!!!  what kind of woman do you take me for but then as I got over my ego and he continued to explain his rationale behind this bold statement I realised that he actually had a point to a certain extent. Sex is or can definitely be good/ GREAT  but sex with someone you LOVE can be AMAZING!!!!!! I mean level with me for a second surely anyone who has been fortunate enough to have sex with someone they love knows there is a BIG DIFFERENCE right? (And if your answer is NO I would just like to point out that you probably weren’t in love sorry) I would even go as far as saying a HUGE difference, but for arguments sake just close your eyes with me for a minute, I want you to go back to the last time you were with the person you Love or loved and remember exactly what it felt like before, during and after the first time you had sex with that person……….focus on every intimate detail. For some of you, you will be able to instantly feel exactly how you felt in that moment when you made love for the first time. That moment when you couldn’t catch your breath because your heart was pounding so hard and just looking in their eyes made your whole body melt, that moment when every kiss and every touch sent shivers down your spine and you just wished that you could freeze time…that moment when one night felt like a life time.

Now flash back to the first time you had sex with someone you were attracted to but not in love with, where the chemical attraction was overwhelming. I mean you couldn’t even be in the same room as said person without wanting to rip their clothes off. That moment when the person just has to look at you, or stand next to you and you could have an orgasm. Yeah that moment right there when you finally succumb and realise that you can’t fight it anymore and nor do you don’t want to. For 5 minutes of your blissful life you’re in ecstasy and flying high until……… it’s over and that’s it!! You come crashing down to earth and have to exit your temporary euphoric state with nothing else than what you came with. (No pun intended)

Now returning to what I said previously, remember how you felt before, during and after both events what’s the difference??? Do I even need to point it out? Ok I will. Let’s start with the similarities, BOTH can start with passion and intensity, BOTH can exhilarate your body and take you on the ride of your life BUT only ONE will be there when the rides over. ONE fills a void the other just supresses it. ONE is gratifying to your mind, body and soul the other is just release for your body. ONE leaves you feeling filled and whole the other leaves you feeling emptier than you did in the first place. So why was I so confused about what to do with my out of the blue proposition??? because ladies and gentlemen…..I AM HUMAN and I have a needs, so although my mind knows categorically I should just say NO my body clearly has a ‘mind’ of its own and was screaming Yes. Alas I was conflicted, some would say stuck between a hard place and a rock (I would say that doesn’t sound like a bad place to be right about now, against the wall could be good loooool  sorry!! my bad) but honestly ladies if you saw the guy in question you would fully understand my dilemma. In fact you know what for arguments sake ima break it down for y’all so you can fully appreciate my situation. Imagine that person that you are OVERLY attracted to, you don’t know why but the chemistry is intense. You find it difficult to concentrate on anything when they’re a round, and you can’t even look them their eyes because it’s too dangerous …so much so that you try your best to avoid eye contact on all accounts because trust me not even my will power stands a chance. They stand near you and you have to step back to maintain physical distance, you anticipate EVERY touch even if accidental and as for the way they look…..pfft  visual stimulation can definitely be a bitch. Worse still is knowing that the sex with that person is good because you’ve been there done that so you’re mind starts racing and  you’re thinking well why should I window shop if I could cop that??? Well my friends because every ‘purchase’ comes at a price and so the question becomes are you willing to pay that price??

Soooo you wanna know don’t you??? did I or didn’t I ???? Well NO I didn’t because I realised that actually as tempting as it all seemed I knew I wanted “MORE than just a moment” and luckily for me I have been practicing abstaining from following my feelings, seeing as they always seem to lead me down the garden path or into a pit full of snakes.        (although it is said that resistance is futile so pray for me people lol) For you men out there it would probably be the equivalent of like Beyoncé or shakira offering themselves to you on a plate and you having to politely decline…..EXACTLY!!! Now you feel my pain don’t ya ??

However I did learn a long time ago though that ‘what you need and what you want are two different things’ and irrespective of my ever increasing sexual frustration L  sex outside of love is JUST NOT what I’m looking for and (repeat with me now) “ Doing the Same things and expecting Different results is what???? The DEFINITION OF INSANITY” 

So to wrap this up neatly, I don’t know about you but as I’m continuing to slide up the age scale onto the better side of 25 lol a lot of things are changing for me, in particular my thought process. I can honestly say when I look back on the way I used to see life it was definitely through the eyes of a child. I was lead well, actually I was more like handcuffed and controlled by my feelings and going along with whatever felt good but for those of you who don’t already know,  “what feels good doesn’t necessarily heal good” (Nia-Jai ©) if you catch my drift and Making impulsive decisions, going off on a whim, doing what you feel too with no regard for what comes next will ONLY ever lead you to one place and that’s the ‘Road 2Regret’. So I did the right thing, which means I finally learnt my lesson from the last time I got burnt, but for those of you who have only just made that mistake like P!nk says just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die after all I didn’t or I haven’t (YET!!) and you know what they say “Good Things come to those who wait right?” well I’m just hoping God decides to send something good my way pretty soon lol… But until then take it from someone who knows if you weren’t fortunate enough to have ever been told….

 “Do what you NEED to NOT what you FEEL to…..IGNORANCE ISNT BLISS it just lands you in Sh!t” (Nia-Jai 2012 ©)

Till next Wednesday Ima Love ya and Leave ya ;-)

#ALWAYS LOVE