"THAT MOMENT WHEN PT1......"

Good Morning people its Wednesday it’s the Morning and guess what My Blog is on time….you’re welcome lol, (those who know me can hi5 me when you see me :) so what’s new with me? Well a lot really, within the last 7 days of not speaking to you so much has happened but  I will try my best to pick the most relevant bit and summarise it in as few words as possible, i.e. leave out the waffle and just give you the syrup aka the juicy bits.

Where to begin? Well we can start at the end and finish at the beginning maybe? Seeing as that’s generally how my thought process works, I know it’s backwards but that’s just me I’ve adjusted to it now so you might want to tooJ.  It was the (oh so dreaded by many) Monday morning, I had dropped the children off at school with five minutes to spare and was feeling super organised. All in all I was pumped for the week ahead. Next to Sunday mornings and Friday evenings Monday is surprisingly one of my favourite days of the week, everything was running seemingly perfectly…..until……it came!!  What did? I hear you shriek. That moment that I was hoping would never come even though I knew inevitably it would. True to form it arrived prematurely via sms don’t you know!! And it read …. “Good morning I read your blog x” which I know what you’re probably thinking, ordinarily that should read as a good message right?? And yes to most it would appear that way until you take the circumstances into consideration. I.e. who the message was from (my Ex) and what the blog was that he read (What the blog are you talking about?) 

************************************silence****************************************

Yep that moment when your stomach drops and you close your eyes hoping to unsee what you just saw, frantically pressing the backup button on your galaxy Samsung S2 (which incidentally caused it to freeze for about the next 5 secs but did NOT erase the messageL)*breathe* So anyway once acceptance had kicked in and I had passed the denial phase I had no choice but to address the message. I figured that knowledge is power so I sat there for the next ten minutes #OnMySherlockHolmes trying to decipher what exactly my ex in question was thinking. (Yes I am aware looking back now that in hindsight trying to understand the workings of a man’s mind is never really wise is it? especially when it happens to be MY ex who is directly my polar opposite) but none the less I sat there thinking, did he like it? Did he hate it? Why did he only put 1kiss?  Do I have to start watching my back or is he going to play the “silent assassin card” and smile in my face then when I least expect it BLAAAAAM!!! He’ll find a way to take me out??? Hahaha Better yet is he going to just out and out declare war and should I be applying to the witness protection programme right about now !!!! As you can see sometimes I get a little ahead of myself, (read too many comic books as a child) but trust me I have learnt from past experience once you pierce a man’s pride or deflate his puffed up ego on any level!! NEVER underestimate the lengths that he will go to, to get his balls back lol. So then finally after much procrastination and deliberation, came the stage of taking action, I hit the dial button and decided that for want of not letting things get lost in translation and leaving as little room as possible for miscommunication, speaking instead of texting was my best bet. After all we know how certain people love to speak in subtext now don’t we J anyway basically he answered the phone and as predicted the anticipation of the situation was a lot worse than the actual outcome….There were no fireworks, and no need for me to dust off P!nks “so what” anthem to dance around the house to, as he took it quite well.  He was actually surprisingly supportive of my writing and the way I apparently make it “easy for the reader to relate” himself included (his words not mine).  I guess this might be a good time for me to give him a shout out actually seeing as now I know he’s probably reading this apprehensively, with his eyebrow raised and that perplexed look on his face thinking, ‘what the heck has she come out with this time??’ “don’t worry babes your secrets are safe with me and my fellow readers ALL over the WORLD!!!!” Hahaha

 (speaking of can I say a big hello and thank you to all the new readers  in Poland, China, and Ireland now, it’s very encouraging for me to keep doing what I’m doing J and very humbling to know that anyone actually cares to read what I write )

Alas back to the matter at hand I’m sure some of you guys can understand fully how I felt in that moment. That moment when what’s happened in your past comes to greet you in your future. I mean let’s be honest re-visits of any kind are never really a good thing and they never leave a nice taste in your mouth either and this was no different (ha-ha did you just imagine throwing up in your mouth a little eeew) anyway, so I made a decision a week ago to get a little more personal in my blogs. At the time I knew there would be a chance that they might be met with a little resistance but it was a choice I made and for once I was actually happy with, so far so good. But how many times have you done something like that in the past and then regretted the somewhat impulsive decision pretty much straight after you made it, or you make a decision based on how you felt in that moment only to awake and think ‘what the *blank* have I done???’ Um hmm like I always say with “instant gratification comes great ramifications”.

Life is pretty much a series of events that occur based on the decisions WE make. It doesn’t just happen to us like some would like to believe.  Our thoughts shape our perspectives which in turn dictate how we respond to situations. The problem being that a lot of times we let our emotions make our decisions for us. We act on how we feel or don’t feel instead of trying to make a choice indicative of what’s right or wrong or just best. It’s understandable why we do it, obviously it’s easier to do what we want or what feels good to us with no consideration of what the knock on effects to everyone else around us will be….but it would be pretty ignorant/naive to believe that the choices we make don’t have a direct impact on our collective consciousness.  I reckon Karma is like the universes way of levelling out the playing fields and balancing out all the poor decisions that WE as a collective make on a daily basis. One thing always leads to another and as so eloquently put in Sir Isaacs Newtons third law of motion ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ as such what we think and do as individuals one way or another always impacts on everyone. I think maybe if we paid more attention to the decisions we make instead of just making them on a whim we may not have to face so many unnecessary consequences because like it or not, agree with it or not as I have said before scientific and spiritual laws exist even without your belief in them and what you put out you will get back. I do however find it to be a little humorous though, how the universe has a way of delivering its punch lines at the most inopportune time. I suppose this adds to the whole “in your face” element which is cool for the onlooker’s maybe but not so much for the recipient though huh lol

On a real though my life has changed so much in the last few years and that’s purely because I started thinking about what I was thinking about!!! I started taking inventory of my daily thoughts and learnt how to reset my mind which evidently reset my life but that’s a whole other blog. For now I would just like to leave you with this…………………….

“Never make permanent decisions based on a temporary situation”. All actions have a reaction so make sure you have a good reason when you make certain choices in life. That way even if the choice does turn out to be the wrong one you don’t have to live with the regret just reflection which leads to growth and the evolution of self. Feelings are temporary and transient. When you make decisions with your ‘sound mind’ or as I like to say it ‘think with your heart’ and act from a place of love then either way the results will yield LOVE.

Obviously I believe we are meant to make certain mistakes as they have lessons in them that are pertinent to our individual destiny’s but that said a lot of us have been making unnecessary, flippant decisions just through lack of discipline and then sat complaining when we’re reaping the consequences of those choices……if you want to change your life, change your thoughts.

 

Till next Wednesday I shall have to love you and leave you,

#ALWAYSLOVE  <3

 

 

Oh and P.S Sylwena and Daniel guess what my blog was on time just for you guys OKAY!!!! so you can stop now with not so funny jibes or you might find yourselves the talking point of my next blog…. love u guys too lol ;-)