''REAL Love begins where Nothing is expected in return...''
Okay so the other day I was listening to a program on T.V about the growth of online shopping, (I say listening because I don’t really watch T.V much, I just had it on as background noise.) and it got me thinking about how frustrating it must be to order something online [and anxiously wait for it,] only to find that it’s not at all what you thought?
When what you bought just ISN’T what you paid for!!
When what you see is NOT what you get!!
When that contractual agreement is NOT what you signed up for!!………………………………….welcome to the era of online shopping.
Here’s the thing we can now shop for clothes, a car, a house, and oh yeah a new body and spouse all at the same time and ALL online lol. The problem is when you’re purchasing something online you can only buy it off face value [worst still ‘Screen value’] which means that, whilst it may look perfect on your laptop, pc or phone screen, you can’t guarantee that’s what you buy is what you'll get?
Now even for me [as a child of the twenty first century] this is such a bizarre concept to grasp. I know I should be au fait with it all by now but as technology advances at the speed of light, I can’t help but feel I’m getting left behind. [Definitely born in the wrong era] I mean, call me old fashioned but surely something’s should be allowed to happen organically and should not be available to purchase “ONLINE”.
With this in mind I started thinking how daunting it must be to start online dating [especially for those of us who are on the better side of 25 ;-) I mean it’s one thing ordering a dress and then deciding that it’s not a good fit and sending it back, but how does it work with the whole dating sitch…..I imagine there’s no return to sender right?? lol. Anyway, take it from me, as an independent (Not Single lol) mother of two, the thought of getting back into the dating game, definitely does NOT sound appealing. [Especially with all the horror stories that Iv heard from friends] I mean if you thought blind dates were bad back in the day, (when you had friends and family members aka overly concerned aunties) rallying around trying to play Cilla Black at her own game, that’s got nothing on the new age of findMeADate.com where ‘False Advertisement’ and being 'economic with the truth' are required skills for writing a profile lol.
- I love children – (translation) = I have ten baby mama’s
- I’m 5ft 10” – yeah ok more like 5ft 5”
- I have strawberry blonde hair – Oooooh is that the new Ginger then??? (haha I’m playing)
Worse than that though!! are the advertisements that seem authentic and have sold you a dream so much so that you don’t even recognise it’s a nightmare until you wake up. Thinking that a situation is something it’s not just because you wish it was or seeing a person as someone they’re not, until you put your glasses on. Better yet wanting something so much but then when you get it, feeling like it’s not enough.
- When you met her she was an avid gym goer [because it was the 2nd of January ]
- When you met him he was driving a Mercedes CLK [because his dad was away on business]
- When you took her out for dinner she told you she was a model [she neglected to mention the word ‘Glamour’]
- Whilst out for lunch he mentioned HIS company [But omitted to say it doesn’t exist yet]
It’s so easy to be disillusioned with a relationship when what you thought it was, it really never was. Just like with anything in life when you’re planning on making an investment you need to be careful where your make your deposits because getting involved with someone under false pretences i.e. liking them for what they look like, what they can do for you, or their social status ,are all superficial reasons that are subject to change and can have you investing in relationships with no returns!!!
Were you really in love with the Person or the PAY CHECK??? Were you attracted to their POWER or their Persona?? Because when you truly love a person for who they really are, I don’t think that a change in circumstance, lifestyle or even attitude will change how you feel about them. You’ll love them regardless. So even if the relationship gets altered or has to come to an end because it has become destructive or non-productive, in the words of one of the greats:
“Love does not alter when an alteration finds” (William Shakespeare)
So if you go out with someone for their, money, social status or asthetics and then find these things suddenly change and so do your feelings, then yeah sure i guess you could say that 'what you bought into is no longer what you paid for......but,
“Being in love with some-THING is not the same as being in love with some-ONE.”
Anyway getting back to the point......Clearly I can’t speak for everybody or even the majority of people for that matter, BUT I definitely have some reservations about ‘Hubby Hunting’ or ‘Surfing for spouses’ online. One reason being that realistically, when did what you look like on paper ever equate to who you really are as a person? And how is a list of likes and dislikes, pet peeves and preferences indicative of one’s moral, ethical or even spiritual values anyway?
I don’t know but couldn’t it be said, that by selecting dates based on people that “literally” tick all the right boxes you’re just considerably reducing the already shallow dating pool of potential suitors. [Lets be real, post 30 we’re looking at what…. ‘pond status’ and after that I’m backing we’ll be entering ‘puddle territory’ haha haha] Sorry I’m only playing but I say this because I live this, I’m learning a lot about myself through introspection and so thought I’d share a little with you guys. Feel free to share some insights with me too #ALLOpinionsWelcome
Till next week, ease up fellow singletons, embrace the ‘differences’ and start being open to the exciting possibility of ‘change’ because evidently what you think you know or "LIKE" hasn’t been working for you so far has it?? :-/ #DontBeAfraid2ChangeItUP
Sometimes the so called ‘differences’ between people can be ‘THE DIFFERENCE’ that makes a couple work don’t you think?
#ALWAYSLOVE <3
PS REMEMBER I HAVE MOVED OVER TO WORDPRESS NOW = HTTP://WWW.NIAJAI.WORDPRESS.COM
AND I WILL BE STOPPING POSTING ON THIS SITE AS OF NEXT MONTH.....SO COME JOIN ME ON THE OTHERSIDE ;-)
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